Why I’m not going to stop say the word “nigga”

Since slavery the “conscious community” both black and white have been trying to abolish the word “nigga” but I’m telling you it isn’t going anywhere. And it’s Not because black people lack dignity or any of that other stuff that many people believe. 
To my understanding the word “nigger ” was first used in America by those who considered blacks their property during slavery but after we freed ourselves ( yes no one gave us freedom we had to fight and die for it) we took ownership of the word and changed it from nigger to nigga. (This is why blacks can say nigga but whites can’t)

So In the inner-cities we use the word “nigga” as a term of endearment: “that’s my nigga”, “me and my niggas”.It’s like saying I own you and you own me and when you own something you do everything in your power to make sure it’s successful because it’s a reflection of you. 
……Just felt like this needed to be said

Get to know you questions that should be banned

If you are single like me and currently in the (seemingly) everlasting  ” getting to meet new people” phase in your love life then this post will probably hit home for you.

 While getting to meet new people  can be fun there are also  some aspects about this process that can be  confusing and sometimes mind boggling. 

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has their pet peeves about what they dislike about meeting new people. I’d have to say mine is the ”  getting to know you questions” that we ask during  this period to convince the person that we are getting to know that we are interested.

While some question are nessecaary in order to move forward there are  also some question that can be inappropriate and in some cases unfair.

Her are a few questions off the top of my head that I believe should be removed from the “getting to know you” questionnaire : 

What’s your type?

This is an awkward question becuase A) What if The person doesn’t have a preference, B) What if you look nothing like what they prefer and C) It could be interpreted as a hint of insecurity on your behalf.

What’s your favorite song?

This has to be one of the most unfair questions ever considering the quantity of quality music in the world  being compsed every minute.I personallly have a favorite song for every emotion I’ve experience during each period of my life and my list grows everyday.

What your favorite movie?

Same reason as for the question about  favorite song.

How did your last relationship end? 

Becuase I just feel that you should keep discussions about ex’s to a minimum.

How many sexual partners have you had?

Do I really need to explain why this is a tacky question?

(Oh and my favorite one) Do you have a (insert popular social network site)?

Because giving someone your social network  information is kind of like telling them your zodiac sign; they’ll  swear they know you afterwards

 I’m pretty sure there are many other questions that would probably also qaulify to make this list. feel free to leave some suggestion. Lets make dating great again!!

What Is Art?

I believe that deep down everyone is an artist. I say this because to me art is just the expression of emotions through activity. Since we all have emotions (emotions =energy in motion) and we all express them in different ways (whether we notice or not) in my world that makes everyone an artist.

I think that when we categorized things it intimidates people and makes them shy away from an experience. Creating art isn’t something that only  “gifted” or “creative” individuals can do, its something that any living thing on earth can do. There are examples of living things creating art all around us; Look at the trees during fall, flowers during spring, or the rainbow the rain leave after it leaves the sky.

In the past Ive expressed my emotions in counter productive ways but looking back I now realize that those were the moments I should have been creating art. Because of my experiences I believe that once a person finds their inner artist their lives begin to take true meaning.

So If your reading this I encourage you to try using whatever emotions that may seem to have a control over your life right now to spark your creative energies. It can’t hurt to try. Maybe itll be a waste of time, or maybe it’ll  be the key that frees youre spirit 😉

The wolves 

It was in the depths of the city in a place that lacked light. Where the wolves were hunting as wolves do at night. They didn’t care if you were an elder or youth, because the smell of  vulnerability signaled you were food.

 They traveled in packs wearing subtle colors, neglected their children and killed their brothers, and when there was no prey to hunt, they’d eat other wolves just for fun.

Their mothers were sad because they knew. But at this point what could they do? It had been years since these wolves had been cubs and now poverty had given them a thirst for blood.

Their dream were broken and their desires bent. Because Hell was their environment. 

Since they could remember all they could see, is that if were not the hunter you were the feast. No knowledge of their true identity, these men had no choice but to become beast.


Staring at the walls

I’ve sat in this room for a long time. Sleeping, tossing, turning, getting up staring at the wall, planning on how I would get back what was mine.

I mapped out my entire life from now until then. Traveled the world so many times in my mind  it made me head spin. My thoughts stretched as high as the mountains, the air I breathed became thin. while I reached new heights giving me the strength needed to win, I heard the universe whisper “this is where your life begins.”

For days I went without eating, it turned me out. It was then I found out what true hunger was really about. I detached myself from everything just to see how strong I was and found out that all I ever really needed was love.

Now the fire in my eyes is brighter that ever and I smiled at ever challenged because “Im down for whatever” Yesterday I wanted the old me back but today I’m more clever. So why be the old me when the new me is better?



Why I Prefer Crazy Women

Before I get into this I think I need to explain that when I say crazy I don’t mean breaking car windows, showing up places unannounced, breaking into my apartment and fighting every girl that looks at me. That’s not crazy ,that’s destructive.

In my eyes a “crazy” woman is a woman who doesn’t bow down to the norms that society has put in place for people to follow in order to be considered “NORMal.” Crazy women get their hearts broken and have enough faith to love again, aren’t so blinded my material things that they cant spot a diamond in the ruff, and help others believe in themselves when the world seems to be doubting them. These are not traits that normal people possess which is probably why most normal people have no control over their life.  If you ask me,you have to be crazy in order to enjoy this life and live it to its fullest extent.

I like to enjoy life. Hbu?

Hero or villain? Part 2

When did I start thinking like this?  How did the villain become the hero?

Days later and I still can’t get Solange ‘s song out of my head. After listening  to it a million times I finally realize that it wasn’t love that she had loss during this emotional period in her life. It was her mind.

Once I realized this I began to understand why I had been so attracted to this song.

For as long as I could remember I always felt like I was running out of time, Like there was some great destiny that I wouldn’t have enough time to fulfill. Feeling like this caused me to be at times emotionally unstable and sometimes unbearable to be around. It was manageable for the most part of my life but as I got older it got worse because I began to feel more and more that time was running out. “I tried to drink away, I tried to dance it away, and I tried to sleep it away but it this feeling remained present.I didn’t know what was wrong with me so I distanced myself from people who meant the most to me because I  was trapped inside of my mind. I tried to read it away, sex it, run it away.I started doing hurtful things to my girlfriend at the time because I didn’t know how to express what I was going through. I felt like no one understood me. “I said goodbye to my lover though if I was alone then maybe I go recover, to write away or cry it away.”

After I had scared everyone away, I had more than enough time to  address the cause of all of my fears and troubles; Myself.In time  I started getting more in tune with my higher self and started to realized that everything the universe wants to happen, happens in perfect timing. Becuase of this journey I embrace today ,am not afraid of tomorrow and am finally finding peace of minding.I guess that’s the reason I became the hero; I want people who are struggling to know that peace of mind is a possibility. I’m not saying I don’t encounter those “cranes in the sky” anymore, just saying I understand why they come and know that they’ll pass.

PS. If you met me during my this stage where I was finding myself ,I’m sorry. Do over?


Ballad of a Horrible Friend

You Always liked me. and I always likes you. You were always so real to me, so I felt comfortable telling you my truth.You never said much but you always listened. But when the time finally came for you to talk, I went missing and when you finally got the chance to tell me, afterwards I seemed distant.

But I was only 17! give me a break! what the fuck?!

You were already going through life and I was still growing up. So when you told me what you told me I felt so stuck. I didn’t understand how you could be as young as me and going through so much.

Everything about you was just too deep for me.But sense then I’ve missed you so deep is what I’ve been pretending to be.

I saw you one day in passing and want to talk about so much. But I froze because deep down I feel like I’m the reason your life got fucked up.

I wish I could’ve given you more mature advice.I wish he never touched you and ruined your perception of life

Hero or Villain?

Sitting here listening to Solanges new single “Cranes In The Sky” for the fist time and I cant help but feel melancholy and dumbfounded at the same time. Why do I feel what she feels as she sings? Why do I instantly want to undue all the hurt she’s been through?

Seems like I’ve been finding myself in this position alot lately. Its Like every female I’ve been encountering lately is recovering from hurt (and in some instances I’ve been the source of it).In all these encounters I’ve found myself trying to use my words, smile and energy as the glue that pieces them back together. Crazy because this time around there isn’t any hidden agenda, I just want them to be OK. It so weird because I’ve always been the one who the girls sang about in these types of songs but now all I want to be is the total opposite. When did I start thinking this way? When did the Villain become the Hero?